Other stuff

I remember damage. Both us really enjoyed this. It came out during the middle of the pandemic and it felt like the show (and the book it's based on) really captured and then turned up the what-ifs. Good place to say, Mo also loves "Halt & Catch Fire" which shares an actor with this show. This show also uses a really catchy motif by Vivaldi, check it out yo!

What's the real me? Is it a ball of energy at my chest, like a soul/spirit, or just the stuff in the meat brains? There was a LSD session where looking for this ball of energy inside of me, I found a diamond looking thing, sort of like the one on top of Sims characters. Each panel of the diamond shape was like a screen that had a specific memory from childhood playing. For example, one panel on the diamond had someone calling me a troublemaker at a young age, another one was someone saying I'm good at studies etc. But if those are just memories of what other people said, then it can't be the real me? Maybe the diamond shape has an inside, and if I remove the panels with the memory-videos, I can find the ball of energy inside the diamond structure, that's the real me. So, I did that, removed the panels, but there was nothing inside the diamond shape. It was empty. That was a freeing experience in a way, because if the panels that make up the sides of this structure are all there is to me, then I could put up new panels instead of just having the traits that were placed there by other people at a young age.

For some people it's a taboo subject to even ask if God exists, for others it's just silly, because it's so obvious that it does or does not. Well, in the sense that our bodies are made of billions of cells, each with its own life, but together create a larger consciousness that is you or me, the same could be plausible that all living & material things together create a larger being. But there's no evidence for that, it's purely a conjecture, a belief, and beliefs are nothing to ride home on, to believe means not to have evidence, for something to not be "real." If it were real it wouldn't be a belief, a faith.

Doing a lot of vajrayana and dzogchen meditations, they try to point out that thoughts in our head just keep coming up, coming into existence, and then after a while the thoughts disappear and dissolve. This just keeps happening, sometimes we really get hung up on a thought train, and that helps keep those thoughts around longer until they disappear. Even imagination and memories are thoughts, and the way a box has Length, width, height- thoughts might have Images, sounds, and feelings- these are their dimensions. Ok, remember our diamond from Part I, it's empty in the center so where are these thoughts coming from if we don't have a ball of energy/soul. Well, maybe they are coming from emptiness itself, the way rays of light come from a fire, thoughts are a natural product of emptiness itself. And after the thought exists for a while, where does it go to disappear? Well maybe it just dissolves into the emptiness again. If this kind of stuff is true, then the emptiness that's in anyone is the emptiness that's in everyone, and between material things. That maybe the nothingness that thoughts emanate from, and the empty space between things, is in a way the one unifying trait, who knows.